A couple of minutes ago I was reading through some comments.. and holding my recently made pb&j sammich in my left hand. I finished reading and went to take a bite out of my sammich. It was all peanut butter, not an ounce of jelly, and I specifically remember putting some grape jelly in there. Weird, right? More like 'so what'. Right, well, I looked down and saw that about 90% of the jelly had fallen out of the sammich and onto my pj pants and computer chair. Awesometacular!
     My pajama pants are sticky.

     Today I waited in my car for a good half an hour while WPAFB went on lockdown because the Prez was coming through. I was 3 cars from getting in when they stopped traffic... no one allowed in or out - everyone stuck. So.. I sat there listening to Neal Boortz and watched it rain inside (yes I said inside) my car (freaking seal! I had that problem with my last car!!!). I was late to work. At least I had a legitimate excuse, "The president made me late". First time I've been able to use that one.

     I've decided that I'm going to go to the FairTax rally in Nashville next month.. It's going to be awesome. If you don't know anything about the FairTax for the love of Pete and your savings account, please check it out. Who wouldn't want to get rid of the IRS? ...seriously?

     I said I'd put photos up of the flooding.. and haven't yet.. because I've been too busy and I'm pretty sure there's only like 2 people that glance over this anyways, so I'm really not that worried about it! I'll get 'em up soon. I'll also put up some pics of the hand bags I've been making. I got tired of buying them. Plus, I couldn't find a good Batman, Air Force and nautically(?) ... shippy.. themed one. Haha.

     OMG YES! Has anyone else seen this 'asshole mario' game? Some guy hacked it and made a PC version that's nearly impossible to beat. I nearly fell out of my chair convulsing with laughter and agony while watching these.. seriously hilarious.
     This is the first level done by the guy who hacked it. He's a pro. Aaaand here's the same level; but filled with zillions of little Marios to show every single failed attempt. It is absolutely amazing.

     Seconds ago, this insanely bright lightning flash just about blinded me and was immediately followed by this crazy boomin' thunder that wasn't all loud and crackly, just SUPER rumbly like a ton of G's rollin' down the street wit the stereo's jammin' to 50Cent. I jumped. Scared the bejezzus outta me.

     And with that... I am Beth, and Beth must go. I am exceedingly tired.
     I good you bid evening.

     We all know it's going to suck, we just don't know how bad until one day it snows 14" and 2 days later it's 50°s outside. Then, in mere moments, we all get sick ...and out of nowhere a tornado hits. The next day we'll feel decent enough to throw on our chucks and go out to eat at a nice restaurant with one or two friends, and all of a sudden the sky will darken and we'll hear what sounds like a train barreling towards us. For real though, it's actually a train not another tornado, you just forgot that you're in the Oregon District. Not so fast though, as you're looking out the window the biggest rainstorm of the year hits and seconds later, dime-sized hail plummets to the earth with the intensity of a Browning M2 and you're pretty much terrified that the window the waitress so kindly sat you next to is going to implode and shards of glass are going to wedge themselves in your eyes and shred your jugular. After it passes, and miraculously you, your friend(s) and the window are still in one piece, you're going to go out to your car only to find a street sign lying on the ground next to it. You're not sure if it actually fell on it because it's dark and the parking lot isn't well lit. To make the night an even bigger success, while you're walking around your car, you inadvertently step into a puddle with the size equivalent of Lake Superior - and because you wore your chucks with those two goofy and unexplainable holes in the sides, you now have parking lot water and Dayton sludge oozing into your socks.  You realize that if you sit out there long enough cursing about your wet socks and potentially damaged car - there's a good chance that you might get mugged - so you just decide to check it out at home or in the morning.
     Over the next month... month and a half, you'll deal with temperatures ranging from the 30's to the 60's, you'll go from wearing flip-flops to snow boots, rain boots to running shoes... and you'll laugh hysterically every time the weathermen try to predict what's going to happen in the next few days. They might as well be standing outside wearing star and moon print wizard hats - shaking their rods at the sky every now and then just for good measure.
     You're an Ohioan. You know the weather is a magical thing that cannot be predicted by the likes of Mike Terwilliger, Jeff Porter or Jamie Simpson. If Ohio wants to snow in the morning and hit 80° in the afternoon, by George it's going to do it - and there's nothing we - or "global warming" (don't get me started) can do to stop it.

     So, here's to another spring in Ohio.